Danny Amor's Online Library/Danny Amor's Online Library - Volume 1.iso/html/startrek/old-incomplete/gorcey-ds9.p1

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From: [e-mail] (Scott J Gorcey)
Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative
Subject: SHORT STORY: My Version of DEEP SPACE NINE - FEEDBACK APPRECIATED
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Date: 10 Dec 92 07:13:00 GMT
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     This is the first installment of my version of DEEP SPACE NINE.
     It was written in October as an exercise in writing short,
     economical fiction since I've spent the better part of the past
     two years writing scripts and plays.  A friend suggested I post
     it to this newsgroup for some objective critical feedback -- and
     I agreed it would be a good idea.
     The basic plot elements and thrust of the story you will
     recognize.  This is because I have stolen them from the bits
     of preview that have been circulating through friends of mine
     on the set and on the Star Trek newsgroups themselves.  The
     basic thrust of this story comes from "Chain of Command,"
     although I trust the particulars of my effort and the real
     thing will be substantially different.
     I have attempted to write "my" Star Trek: that is, to bring
     the particular elements I like the most about TNG and what I've
     read and heard about DS9 to the forefront.  I have done this on
     both characterization and plotting levels.
     What more can be said?  Enjoy.  Please give me detailed feedback
     if you are moved to do so.  I will respond to followup posts and
     email conversations.  STAR TREK, STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
     and STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE, all characters and situations
     and likenesses thereof, are the property of Paramount Pictures
     Corporation.  No profit from this story will be accepted, and
     no infringement on the copyright of Paramount Pictures Corporation
     is intended.


     By Scott Gorcey.
     TEASER
     A force field perimeter two hundred-fifty meters square was
maintained surrounding the site, while a wall of ten meter thick
coolant gas sat inert in an artificial moat surrounding the drill
platform itself, awaiting emergency.
     It had not much longer to wait.
     Structural failure on the rig would occur, according to rebel
projections, on the simultaneous detonation of twelve explosive
charges placed at stress points within the superstructure.  Explosions
would, in turn, ignite the underground ore deposits.  No hardware
remaining on-planet could extinguish such a fire.
     Jonfarr Plain strip mining complex was the last of its kind.  The
extraordinarily old still remembered these great behemoths' first
appearance on the horizon, dropped from orbit by ships of even greater
size.  They remembered the taking of their planet, not a piece at a
time but all at once; swallowed whole by their Cardassian neighbors.
They remembered the slaughter and banishment of their brothers and sisters;
the enslavement of their children and grandchildren.
     And they remembered the mines, siphoning life from their once
beautiful world with the technological efficiency of the finest computer
and not so much as one tear.
     They remembered freedom.  No one but the extraordinarily old on
Bajor could say as much.
     Where are the guards? one of them signed to her.  She took his
scanner silently and looked again at the complex.  He was correct.  No
activity.  She looked briefly out to the shimmering desert horizon.
The sun had the color of fire descending.  Its secondary shone brightly,
but distant, higher in the sky.
     There's one, she signaled.  Correction.  Two.
     They marched out at the base of the platform, cloaks sweeping behind
them, shadows dancing on the compound wall.  Their breath was visible in
the thin air.  Although this was the hotter of the two Bajoran summers,
their Cardassian neighbors still found it necessary to bundle up or
freeze to death.
     They've changed patrol patterns, she signed, returning Heoi's
scanner to him.  Therefore, we wait.  We observe.  We have all night.
     The guards reached the perimeter gate, turned on their heels, and
continued on along the force field wall.  As he turned, one of them
activated a scanner.
     Major Kira Nerys, of the Bajoran Kai Enrasi, watched the guards
until they passed into darkness, then glanced for a moment at the
explosive charges in Heoi's pack.  She repeated to herself: all night.

     ONE.
     "Enterprise is cleared for final approach."
     "Ensign, prepare to transfer control on my mark."
     "Aye, sir," said Ensign Ro Larren.  "Approaching bay seven."
     "Mark."
     "Starbase, you have control," said Ro.
     "Affirmative, Enterprise.  Prepare to dock."
     "We are moving into position now.  Moorings activated."
     "Thank you, Ensign," said Captain Jean-Luc Picard, standing.
     "Umbilical has attached, Captain.  UB and Gravitational support
systems are functioning.  The Admiral," said Commander Data, "will
board for inspection in twelve minutes."
     "Very well.  General staff, report to Main Gangway, deck ten,
immediately."  The senior staff, most of whom were on the bridge,
secured their stations.  "Ensign Ro, you have the bridge," said Picard,
although Ro, a member of the general staff, was in dress uniform and
had already started for the lift.
     She looked at him oddly, then put it away for a moment.  "Yes,
sir."  Picard joined the others in the lift and was gone.
     "Bastard," she whispered.  "Pompus hypocritical bastard."

     TWO.
     "Rumor has it the Admiral is endowed with four extra rows of
teeth," said Guinan to Data.
     "I have not heard that particular rumor about Admiral Crowe."
     "Well, then, which ones have you heard?"
     "I have heard that she --"
     "Mr Data," said Picard, straightening his dress tunic.
     "Sir?"
     "That will be all.  Stand to, please."
     The general staff, Starfleet personnel and civilian department
heads, took their positions in the lineup as the Gangway whistle sounded.
     "At attention," ordered Riker.  Admiral Crowe was a famous stickler
for formality, hence the letter perfect formality of the docking maneuver,
even down to crew deportment on the bridge during the proceedure; hence
a full personal inspection although Enterprise had been inspected by
Admiral Savar three months ago at Vulcan.  The port slid open.
     Admiral Maureen Crowe stepped through and, facing forward, walked
slowly up the line of officers and gentlemen at attention on her either
side.  She was alone -- another of her trademarks.
     She addressed the Captain.  "Permission to come aboard, sir."
     "Granted.  Welcome to Enterprise, Admiral.  Allow me to introduce
my senior staff.  First Officer, Commander William Riker, whom I'm sure
you'll remember."
     She nodded formally, which Riker returned, but gave no indication
she picked up on Picard's reference.  The Admiral had in fact been the
first to endorse Riker's bid to remain aboard the Enterprise following
the Borg Invasion.
     "This is my Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Beverly Crusher."
     "I'm an admirer of yours, Doctor," said Crowe with uncharacteristic
warmth.  She shook Beverly's hand.  "Outstanding job you did at Fleet
Medical.  Outstanding."
     "Thank you, Admiral," said Beverly.
     "Yes, well, that's all right," she said.  "Continue, Captain."
     Picard went through the senior staff, finally arriving at Worf.
     "Lieutenant," said Crowe, gripping his hand tightly, which Picard
also noted.
     "And this is --"
     The Admiral stopped him.  "Guinan," she said.
     Guinan stepped forward.  "Admiral.  Good to see you."
     "I wasn't certain whether you were aware of Guinan's presence
aboard, Admiral."
     "I was indeed, Captain, it simply didn't click.  But later for the
pleasentries, if there's time.  Inspection cancelled," she announced.
"Captain, we need to have a private conversation now."
     Picard looked at her and, for a moment, said nothing.  "I trust my
ready room will be sufficient, sir.  Follow me."  They left.
     "Company dismissed," said Riker.  He found Troi's eyes in the
crowd and they moved together.
     "I would judge a larger than average percentile of veracity to
these particular rumors," Data said to Guinan.  "Although, I must point
out, the Admiral wears dentures."

     THREE.
     "Explanation, Captain."
     "For what, Admiral?"  said Picard as they stood just inside the
ready room doors.  He supposed she would not want tea.
     "Why is that Bajoran in command of your bridge?"
     "Pardon me?"
     "That woman has no business serving aboard any Starship, let alone
this one.  You have not only allowed her to remain aboard, but have her
functioning at the command level.  Frankly, I question your judgement."
     "Frankly, Admiral, I question your objectivity."
     "Continue," she instructed when it became clear Picard would not do
so on his own recognizance.
     "That woman, that Bajoran, is a Starfleet officer.  She is one of
MY officers.  In the short time she has been under my command, Ro Larren
has demonstrated nothing but intelligence, forthrightness, drive and
potential.  Now, if there are explanations being tendered, I would
request one for the replacement of the Enterprise as investigating
Starship at Argos-Zendii."
     "All right.  Enterprise wasn't replaced at Argos-Zendii, the mission
objectives have been cancelled."
     "All of them?"
     "Yes."
     "How do I explain this to my science departments, Admiral?  These
stars will not exhibit the same behavior for another ten thousand years.
How do I explain this to the thirty-five Daystrom researchers taken
aboard for the express purpose of surveying Argos-Zendii?"
     "You don't."  She swiveled the desk screen to face her.  "Computer,
recognize Crowe, Admiral Maureen K, theta-7000314.  Ship's Log.
Effective immediately, Captain Jean-Luc Picard is summarily relieved of
all active duty.  Notify Commander Riker he will serve as interim CO
pending the arrival of a new Commanding Officer on stardate 46490.5."
     She turned to Picard.  "Captain, your command is hereby terminated."

     FOUR.
     "Computer, locate Captain Picard."
     "Captain Picard's communicator is on the main bridge."
     "Riker to Picard."  No answer.  "Riker to Picard."
     He was standing in his head, one foot in the tub, one foot out,
dripping.  "Riker to bridge."
     "Bridge.  This is Ensign Ro."
     "What the hell is going on?"
     "Commander?"
     "Where's the Captain?"
     "He left with Admiral Crowe about two minutes ago."  She checked
herself.  "His communicator registers main bridge.  There's no one here."
She rechecked.  "The computer refuses to identify the Captain's
whereabouts."
     "I know that.  Check the ready room."
     "I'm here already," she said, surveying the room.  Then she saw
it and paused.  "Commander, I think you better come up here right now."
     "Understood," Riker said gravely, dressed and stepping into the
corridor.

     FIVE.
     "Commander Riker, I do have some idea of the significance --"
     "Later," said Riker, stepping past her.  He stared at the
communicator, which sat on the seat of the Captain's desk chair.
Nothing else was out of place.  He picked it up and, at length,
examined the pin, finding nothing unusual.  Rikerslipped it into
his pocket.
     "We can't talk here," he said to Ro.  She understood.
     The ready room doors opened.
     "What the hell is going on?" Beverly demanded.
     "I'm not sure," said Riker.  The doors hadn't completely shut
when Lieutenant Worf followed Beverly in.  "Yes, Lieutenant?" Riker
said.
     "Will, I've been relieved of duty and transferred to the Starbase!"
     Worf looked at her.  "So have I," he said.
     "What the hell?" said Ro.
     "Later," said Riker sharply.  He ushered them all out, then followed.

     SIX.
     "Bajor belongs to Bajorans," said the woman on the tape.  Her face
was distorted by interference.  She spoke with lucid but emphatic control.
Her accent was perfect.  "The forces of the Cardassian Occupation Army
have engaged in genocidal tactics against Bajorans in full view of the
family of nation-states in this part of the galaxy for two centuries.
     "Tonight, Bajorans struck back.  The Jonfarr Plain strip mining
complex, with two hundred Cardassian personnel aboard, has been destroyed.
The Turbidium ore deposit below Jonfarr Plain, representing the last such
substantial deposit of valuable ore on my planet, is currently ablaze.
     "The eradication of both miners and mine brings to an end any
practical benefits to the continued Cardassian Occupation of Bajor.
They have taken all but the last morsel, and now that is gone as well.
To forestall further bloodshed, the UNCONDITIONAL WITHDRAWAL of all
Cardassians from Bajoran space must begin no later than stardate 46494.
All Bajoran political prisoners must be released from death camps within
Cardassian boundaries.  All camps must be opened to intragalactic
scrutiny.  The genocide machine must stop.
     "Until these conditions have been met by the Cardassian Hegemony,
all negotiations on behalf of Bajorans by third parties must cease.
Negotiation is not acceptable.  Our terms are known.
     "The Cardassians have given my people a lesson in savagery for
the past two hundred years.  They have given us a lesson in war.  But
it is the Bajorans who will show the Cardassians the price of peace.
     "The Federation Starship Enterprise, registry NCC-1701-D, is
hereby instructed to reverse its course.  Do not approach system Argos-
Zendii.  Do not meet with the waiting Cardassian delegation on Stardate
46492.5.  Do not negotiate on behalf of Bajorans.
     "If the Federation Starship Enterprise does enter system Argos-
Zendii, ten thousand Cardassians will die at Danung Colony.  If the
Starship does meet with Cardassian delegates, ten thousand more
Cardassians will die.
     "If the Cardassian government allows any retaliation against
Bajorans for these actions, a population center on Cardassia will
immediately suffer a fate similar to the one you see here at Jonfarr
Plain."  She stepped aside, revealing fully the massive ocean of fire.
     "This is Major Kira Nerys, speaking for Kai Enrasi and all Bajorans."
     The screen went blank.
     Admiral Crowe crossed her arms and looked at him.
     "There is a high level leak aboard the Enterprise, Captain."
     "And you believe it is Ensign Ro."
     "Correct."
     "Because she is Bajoran."
     "Because she has a history of it, Captain," Crowe returned.
     "Cardassians could just as easily have leaked that information to
Bajoran rebels themselves."
     "Not quite.  After four days surveying the Argos-Zendii system,
Enterprise would have received a new set of coordanites where the
authentic Cardassian summit over the Bajoran problem would have taken
place.  Only I knew your destination was a false one, but including
we two, five people knew what that false destination was.  Since she
was scheduled to participate in the talks, Ensign Ro is one of those
five."
     "That does not prove her guilt," said Picard.  "She is simply your
most likely suspect."
     "She's more than that, Picard.  She's my ONLY likely suspect.  But,"
she said pointedly, "that is none of your concern.  Captain Rollins has
his orders.  He will handle it."
     Picard shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  "I believe I will have
that glass of tea now, Admiral."
     "I thought you might.  Quite the little mess we've got brewing this
time."  Picard agreed.  At the replicator, Admiral Crowe turned to him
and said: "That tape will lead on all the Klingon Homeworld's evening
news broadcasts tonight, incidentally."
     Before Picard could voice his reaction, the door chime rang.  "Two
more," she said to the replicator before touching the com panel above
it.  "Come."
     Doctor Crusher and Lieutenant Worf entered

     TO BE CONTINUED (if there is enough response to merit typing
     the rest into my account)...